Internal Barricade

Something makes me crazy

It can be loving

Or it can be deadly

Trauma, it’s inside me

I feel it pounding

Trying to subdue me

But I understand what’s wrong

Lies

Give me peace and then you snatch it

I don’t trust what you do

I won’t misplace it

Misplacing my trust, never again

Never would I see such a shift from love to hate and back

You keep me on edge, but you still save me

Sometimes I am afraid of your potential attack

You promised me freedom from the cage you designed

You issued me fines

Only to lie and make me repay

For a tax you created

To only myself, I hated

You’re a trigger warning

For something I don’t believe is dangerous

Something I know I can handle

I think I can handle

I wish I could handle

One day I will be gone

And you will no longer work

While I lay peacefully in the dirt

But you taught me the lesson of faith

Of one not easily obtained

If I knew what was going to happen

I might’ve refrained

From ever trying at all

Oh, how bleak would be the fall

You may allow me to be alive

But you will never

Be the singularity

That shall teach me

To thrive